You may (well… you both) have a problem if he or she....
- Expects continued appreciation and admiration from you and others – often referred to as ‘narcissistic supply’. (This expectation comes from a sense of entitlement and an exaggerated sense of self-importance)
- Overestimates their abilities and underestimates the contribution of others – this is probably well-documented in their social media profiles and is a very telling narcissistic trait
- Fantasises about unlimited success in whatever they do (magical thinking)
- Compares themselves very favourably with high-status people, assuming only they will understand and truly appreciate them
- Is often unreasonably demanding – having unrealistic expectations of you (and others) – a personality trait that makes it almost impossible to create a healthy relationship
- Contributes very little to the relationship
- Has little or no empathy, often sneers, is contemptuous and over-critical of you and others
- Is unwilling to discuss your feelings or concerns
- Lacks insight into themselves and their behaviour
- Lacks appreciation of you, your feelings, your values and beliefs, your interests and concerns
How to deal with a narcissistic husband, wife or partner
People with narcissistic behaviours are usually charming in the beginning.
However, their self-centred view makes it really difficult for them to develop a strong long-term relationship. Their lack of empathy may even put your safety at risk. Living with a narcissist can feel like you’re constantly walking on a tightrope.
I wouldn’t be surprised if, over time, you’ve found yourself increasingly irritated, frustrated, stressed or desperately hurt by them – and perhaps even scared.
You may have got into a spiral of negativity, with disappointments stacking up and dragging you down. Your self-esteem may have dropped as a result of this. At the same time. you may still love – or think you love – that person.
For the purposes of this article, I’m going to assume that your partner isn’t at the dangerous end of the narcissism spectrum.
If they are, then you’re in an abusive relationship – and for that, you need this article: Signs of an abusive relationship, or Signs of emotional abuse.
You’ll be at risk of financial, physical and emotional abuse. I’d also strongly advise you to seek professional help as soon as possible.
Instead, if your partner is displaying mildly narcissistic traits and you’re looking for ways to cope with the problem, here are some ideas…
